


all i wanna do

by SaturdayPeople



Category: Askewniverse, Clerks. (1994)
Genre: 1990s, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Friendships, Explicit Language, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Clerks. (1994), Slow Build, Slow To Update
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2019-10-08 22:17:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17394707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaturdayPeople/pseuds/SaturdayPeople
Summary: Despite everything that happened the night of Julie Dwyer's funeral, aka The Worst Day of Dante Hicks' Life, everything is still the same. Dante still finds himself miserable at the Quick Stop, dealing with Randal's 'philosophical' questions about porn and Star Wars, and "every backward ass fuck on the planet." The only thing making it worse is that he doesn't have Veronica's shoulder to cry on anymore. Though, will the new Canuck with a tendency to overshare (mostly about Jeff Goldblum) that moved in shake things up?No, not really. But, a new friend to distract him from the shittiness of his life is always appreciated.aka Clerk meets Clerk. Mundane shenanigans ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this used to be a comfort project for me. at the risk of sounding like "my inner life" author, i had this whole life with dante made up in my head and... well :'). the view askewniverse is still very near and dear to my heart but i got into other things and well... golly. i dunno if i'll ever write enough to "catch up" with what's in my head but take what i have so far! the fact that i'm not 21 (or even 22!!!) anymore says a lot about... how long this thing has been going on orz...
> 
> expect very slow updates and an even slower burn :'))).
> 
> ((this was also posted on dA but... i rewrote shit.))

Dante didn't really go to parties anymore. Even before he started working at the Quick Stop, for a guy that would call him and _only_ him it seemed. He wondered why he even bothered picking up the phone at ungodly hours in the morning anymore when he wasn't wondering if there was a point in arguing with his boss every time. It always ended with him agreeing and working at the store anyway. He was a pushover. Maybe that was why The Brad Incident happened in the first place, along with the other eight times, that he knew of, Caitlin cheated on him. He took her back every single time. He knew he was a slave to his emotions and to the demands of others, like a good little doormat.

Which was why he was at this party, by the way. After weeks of rejecting Jay's invitations to hang out after his shifts, it turned into weeks of empty promises and “something came up, maybe next time” until eventually Dante gave into Jay's offer months later. Now here he was, at a party with a couple of drug dealers he didn't want to hang out with, it was nothing personal. Or at least, that was how it was supposed to be. They didn't even hang out. Jay got up and went off to “pop Jared's old lady” after some broad walked by and Silent Bob... was silent, no matter how many times Dante tried to attempt a conversation. It was times like this that he wished he was more like Randal, someone who didn't give into people's pleas or demands while getting others to do the same for him easily, who was not at this party.

“ _It's not my problem that you buckled like a fuckin' belt once-a-fuckin'-gain, ya mook.”_

_**Fuck**_ , his friend pissed him off, sometimes. Often. Almost all the time.

After stewing about his situation for what he guessed was an hour and a half, Dante decided to leave. This really wasn't his scene. Maybe back when he was in high school. During one of the many times that he and Caitlin had broken up (“ _For real this time!_ ” was something he told Randal after the sixth time he found out about Caitlin fucking another guy) and the wounds were still fresh. So he'd self-medicate with shitty beer and his classmate's mom's stolen wine coolers while hoping that Gwen Turner would look his way and they'd make out on the couch and Caitlin would see and get jealous. Maybe then.

With a sigh, he got up from the worn down couch and headed in the direction of where he thought that front door was. Only for someone to grab onto the back of his jersey (Go Rangers!) and give him a couple of sharp tugs.

“Um... excuse me, “ said a voice. They were clearly shouting, but he could still barely hear them over the sound of King Diamond blasting throughout the house. Dante blinked as he quickly turned around. There stood a young girl, maybe a little too young to be at a party like this, since she could easily pass for a high schooler. He decided to not judge, figuring he also went to parties during high school and probably did stupider shit than she ever did. He watched her take a deep breath before speaking.

“Do you know when the next bus'll be here?”

“What?”

“Do you know when the next bus is coming?!”

He stared at the girl as he tried to process what she might've said before giving up. He signalled for her to follow him outside. Maybe it'd be easier to hear out there and he was on his way out anyway. She had looked confused, he noticed, but she still followed him closely behind, once again gripping onto his jersey. Probably to not lose him among the crowd of Penguins and Devils that swarmed the room. Once they were outside, it had quieted down noticeably. The booming music and screams from inside were muffled slightly, you could actually hear the roar of some asshole's motorcycle tearing through the streets now. Dante sighed before giving her a look. It was dark out, so he couldn't really make out any of her features besides the streetlight's reflection of her glasses, her limp, dark hair that hung loosely down her shoulders and that she came a little above his chin in height.

“You said something about the bus, I think?” He finally asked, leaning in to hear her a little better as he crossed his arms.

Even in the dark, Dante had noticed that she brightened up significantly, at least compared to the dull confusion he saw inside, before answering. “Yeah!!! Do you know how often it comes by here? Like every hour? Half hour? Or, like, did it stop running for the night? I need to get home.”

He gave her another look, sucking his teeth as he racked his brain for the information. Christ, when was the last time he took the bus? Definitely not in high school. Even before he got his license, he avoided public transit like the fucking plague. He had a vague idea of the schedule, but that was only around the store. Which they were quite a ways away from at the moment.

“Uhhh...” He pulled up his sleeve to get a look at his watch in the dim light. It was a quarter to midnight. If there were any buses running still, it would be the last one for the night. “Shit,” he started, giving her an apologetic look. “I have no idea, I'm sorry.”

She sighed, her fingers toying with the ends of her shoulder length black—at least, he thought it was black, it was so hard to tell—hair. “It's okay,” she said with a small smile. “I'll just, um, I'll just wait for it at the stop. Thanks though.”

He gave her a nod once she started to walk away, which he did so as well. He hoped that if there was a bus still, it'd come soon. Whenever a girl asked for when the next bus was at the store around closing, he always felt a little nervous.

Would she be okay?

Would she be okay waiting in the dark for a bus that might not even come?

There were a bunch of savages in this town.

“Hey, wait!” He called out, dashing towards her. Why was he bothering? What the hell was he doing exactly?

The girl stopped, her body leaning forward from the abrupt movement. She spun on her heel, the squeak of her shoes against cracked concrete echoing through the autumn air, to face him. “Uhh..huh?” She mumbled, pushing away the mass of hair that whipped her in the face from her spin.

“I, I, uh...” Dante swallowed under the bemused gaze of hers. “How about I wait with you, until you get on? If that's alright.”

She stared at him longer. Her face went through a metamorphosis; confusion, slight panic, confusion again and then finally gratefulness. A smile spread across her lips as she spun her hair around her index finger. She had a nice smile, he thought to no one in particular. “Um... Okay, yeah. Yeah, that'd, ah, that'd be okay,” she said, the lightness of her tone matching the sweet smile on her lips.

They walked two blocks in complete silence. Things were so quiet that you could hear the wind whistling through the dying leaves, the heaviness of Dante's boots and her heels dragging with every step as the muffled heavy metal faded into the darkness behind them. To say that Dante felt awkward was an understatement. Internally, he kept repeating to himself that this was better than leaving her on her own and potentially getting grabbed or whatever the hell happened.

“...I'm Cipher—I mean, **Squall**. I'm Squall,” she said once they made it to the bus stop.

“Oh, I'm Dante,” he replied. A minute had passed before he continued. “So, uh, is that your real name or...?”

“Oh! Nooooo,” she laughed, hands toying with her hair once again. “No, I... I picked it out. It's neutral.”

He furrowed his eyebrows together and blinked. “What... what do you mean by that, if you don't mind my asking?”

Squall sucked her teeth. “Er... My name, my actual name, is too feminine. The other one I picked out? It confuses people. I switch from both so often that I picked a word that I liked and decided to just go by that because it's easier, y'know?”

He had no idea what the hell she was going on about. “I... I see.”

“Ahhh, shit, sorry. I rambled. I do that a lot,” she laughed awkwardly, avoiding looking at him. “Well... How about your name? Is Dante really your real name?”

“...Yes? Why wouldn't it be?” He sincerely hoped that he didn't look as offended as he sounded. Offended wasn't the right word, confused was more like it. Mildly confused, even.

“I dunno, like, it's uncommon. I only see it online by people trying to be cool and goth or whatever online. ' _Dante's Inferno_ ' and all that.”

“And 'Squall' isn't you trying to be cool? I mean, ultimately, isn't it just a fancy word for storm, isn't it? And what was the first name you said—Cipher? Isn't that a codename for Lucifer?” He said sarcastically, still trying to decide if he was offended or not. He had never thought about his name before. Let alone the idea that people would use it to be 'cool'. Was the net full of people like that?

“Oh God, I didn't mean it like that! I'm really sorry!!!” She blurted out, throwing her hands up in front of her chest.

Oh God, he upset her by making her think he was upset. “It's fine, it's fine! I was kidding!”

Hopefully, that was reassuring enough for her.

Even though she had relaxed somewhat, it was quite obvious that she was still distressed, even int he dark. “But... Anyway, to answer your question... Yeah, I'm trying to look cool with my name,” she snorted. “Squall represents _the constant storm of emotions I feel inside_.”

He laughed. “Well, as long as you're honest... Hey, how old are you?”

“Twenty-one. Twenty-two in two months.”

“Ah.” Just a year younger then. “You graduate in '89?”

“Y-yeah, how old are you then?”

“Twenty-two—by the way, I don't think I've ever seen you around. You go to North or—”

She shook her head, hair whipping her in the face. “Nah, I... I'm not from here.”

That explained why he hadn't even seen her in the store before. If he didn't recognize anyone from school or family shit, he was bound to have seen every citizen of Leonardo at least twice in his two years of service at the Quick Stop. “Where are you from?”

She shrugged, giving him a lop-sided smile before pointing upwards. “Up north... Canada.”

He blinked, suddenly overwhelmed by the taste of maple syrup that dripped from her speech. “Oh, like, Montreal or Toronto—”

“Fuck! I _KNEW_ you were gonna say Toronto, fuck!” She threw her hands up in the air before clapping once and stomping her foot. As she burst into laughter, Dante couldn't shake the feeling that Squall had participated in theatre in high school. Her flair for the dramatic, at least right now, would've fit in just fine with the weird threatre kids from back then.

“ _Touchy_ ,” was all that he could say.

“No, no, no! It's just like, as soon as you mention fuckin' Canada around an American, they assume Toronto, yknow? 'Y'know my buddy, Eric? He's from Toronto!' Kinda shit.”

“Well, _Toronto_...” It took all his willpower to not pronounce it like she did (“Tah-ran-ah” or “Toh-ron-oh”, how did she manage to say it different each time?) “It's close to Niagra Falls or something, isn't it? And that's only eight or so hours away from Jersey, so...”

“Ah! R-right... Y-yeah...”

If it wasn't so dark, Dante could've sworn that he saw Squall's cheeks burning from embarrassment. Grinning, he stuffed his hands into his pockets, shielding them from the breeze. The not-quite autumn air had finally gotten to him. “So, where are you from then? If not Toronto?”

“Well, I was born and pretty much raised in Thompson, Manitoba—it's like the next province over from Ontario. But, I moved here from North Dakota—Grand Forks. We'd go back and forth from North Dakota to Thompson so often 'cause of vacations and family 'n' stuff, so... Thompson is way more 'home' to me than anything.”

Dante thought he _might've_ heard of a Grand Forks once, but he was lost on the other place. Shit, even if he did know what those places were, why would she move here rather than to a bigger city like Atlantic? Fuck, even Newark? He could get why not New York. He imagined the fantasy of living in NYC would be shattered long before you had to pay rent there. It was fucking bad here. On top of it all, Jersey was made fun of at every opportunity by everyone else... So, he was at a loss.

“What brings you to Jersey?”

She sucked her teeth once again. “Gonna be real here... I, uh, I picked a place at random. Figured that my family wouldn't bother me here, since, uh, shit... No offense, but, people pick on this state a lot.”

' _Tell me about it_.'

“I'd rather fuckin' deal with rent kicking my ass, even with my roommate there, than having to craawwwwl back to _him_. I don't wanna be around him.”

While he was glad that she was feeling more comfortable around him than earlier, he couldn't help but wonder why she, a literal stranger, was telling him, also a literal stranger, her life story. It was uncomfortable. He had only asked _why_ _ **here**_ _of all places_.

“So!” He started, desperately attempting to change the subject to something a little less personal. “How long have you been in town?”

She blinked. “Uhh... Late April? May? Not that long.”

“Yeah? You find any work?”

She nodded, now stuffing her hands into her pockets. “Yeahhh, hopefully won't be there too long through. I'm at Mooby's, you? I mean, what do you do?”

“I'm at the Quick Stop. It's a convenience—”

“Didn't a girl fuck a dead guy there!?”

' _Jesus Christ_...' Even people that had just moved here knew about that mess with Caitlin. God was fucking mocking him. “Yeah but she... Nevermind.” Dante sighed heavily as he slipped on his glasses and stared down the empty street. There wasn't a bus in sight; the only headlights you could see were too low to belong to a bus. He pulled up his sleeve and looked at his watch that was barely illuminated by the street lamp.

**Midnight.**

If the bus did run this late, it was more than possible that the last one had already come and gone.

“Hey,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “Feel free to say no but... Why don't I drive you home? I don't think the bus is coming and I don't feel comfortable leaving you here.”

“...Um, I... I dunno, I don't want you to go outta your way for me. But, uh, shit, I probably don't have enough for a cab.” She wriggled in her spot, fingers toying with something around her wrist. “Alright, I mean, if it's really okay with you, I mean.”

“I offered, didn't I?” He said with a smile as he headed back towards the house.

Squall jogged up beside him, side bumping into his in the process. “S-sorry! D-do you offer rides to everyone? I-I don't mean to sound ungrateful, sorry...”

“I act as my best friend's personal chauffeur, so, driving new people in town around isn't that big a deal.” He shot her another smile. “Don't worry about it, Squall.”

Finally, she returned his smile with a wide grin.

Despite the girl pretty much telling him her life story earlier, Squall was silent for most of the car ride. The only time she spoke up was to give him the address, when to turn once they were close enough and which apartment block. He hardly minded the silence; he was getting too tired to think of any conversation topics. Eventually, they made it to an apartment building in Leonardo—they had been in Red Bank—sort of close to the Quick Stop. Maybe a fifteen minute walk.

“Thanks again, Dante,” Squall said with a smile as she started to get out of the vehicle. “I-I mean it... Goodnight! Drive safe 'n' all that...”

He returned the smile. “No prob, you too—I mean, goodnight.”

She snorted at his small blunder before closing the door. Half-jogging to the building's door, she dug around in her pockets before turning to him. She gave him a wave, which he returned, before she unlocked the door and finally stepped inside.

Dante yawned. Good thing he more or less knew his way home from here.

 

**end**

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this written for eons but... golly.

"I hung out with my cousin Brodie last night and let me tell ya... People give us shit about the stuff we talk about but I bet they'd throw a fuckin' fit if they had to listen to the shit he talks about."

Dante hummed in agreement, not entirely listening to Randal talk about his cousin. He was too busy trying to squeeze into this tight spot in the Mooby's parking lot. Vaguely knowing Brodie, Dante knew that the guy was up to some wild shit. The guy was just as crass as Randal was, but while Randal more or less kept his cool at all times and dealt out the quick sarcastic quips, Brodie tended to yell and laugh a lot.  _A lot_. Mostly about his nerdier interests or a kid fucking around at Eden Prairie. More or less demanding your attention and the spotlight, which was probably how he got that spot on The Late Show.

"I can't believe he's on TV now. How does he survive not being able to talk about Reed Richards' dick for an hour," Dante said as he finally parked the car. He let out a sigh as he killed the engine. "You think you could handle being on TV?"

"Nah," Randal said with a shrug. "I'm just a regular guy trying to get by in this savage world. Money would be sweet but I couldn't deal with those censors, dude. He probably has aneurysms daily from not being able to blow his wad about comic book characters blowing their wads on his show."

Dante snorted. "Did you watch it?"

"Once or twice."

"He any good?"

"Yeah, he's pretty funny with what he's got. The sketches are shit though, it's probably execs doing that though. I give him six months before he bails." Randal opened his door, nearly slamming it into the other vehicle next to them.

"What makes you say that?" Asked Dante, who was extremely careful opening his door and sliding out of it. "Thought he'd chop off his dick to be on TV or whatever he said in high school."

"Something along those lines. I dunno man, when you achieve your dreams or whatever, real life likes to kick you in the ass. Which is why I aim low and am currently happy where I am."

"Jesus Randal, it wouldn't kill you to have at least a little ambition and dreams--"

"Take your own advice, my friend. You're still in the same spot as I am even after you said you were gonna shit or get off the pot after Julie Dwyer's funeral."

"It was  _you_  that said--" Dante grumbled before Randal swung his arm around his shoulders and pulled him into some sort of sideways hug.

"Don't worry about it, ol chum. We're in this together. Still got the whole world in front of us... just like this Mooby's. Let's go in, I'm fuckin' starving," the slacker said as he pulled Dante along with him.

The smell of grease and _totally fresh not frozen food_ invaded the pair's senses, greeting them to the god forsaken place that was their local Mooby's. They narrowly avoided the screaming kids running around as they made their way to the counter. The dark limp haired  _funployee_  at the counter looked dead inside, which just completed the picture. A picture of mediocrity and soon to be broken dreams. 

"Welcome to Mooby's... Can I take your order, sirs?"

Dante blinked before realizing who the clerk was. He stared at her name tag to make sure... but it didn't really help. So, he just jumped right into it. "Holy shit, Squall?"

It took her a moment, but then her eyes lit up and a smile appeared. Gone was the dead inside smile that seemed to grace everyone that was unfortunate enough to work in customer service and here was a genuine smile. "Oh!!! Dante!!! Hi!!! Oh my gosh..."

Randal shot a look at his friend and then to the girl behind the counter. Who the hell was this?

"I didn't think we'd run into each other again, in all honesty. Like. American cities are so big... and townships are weird but whatever!! It's so nice to see you, oh my god. I'm glad you made it home okay!" Squall rambled, her words running together.

Dante laughed, "You'd be surprised. I get a lot of old classmates and family members coming into the Quick Stop... how've you been?"

Squall shrugged, "I've been okay, I think. Just been working and not much else... Er, anyway... How about you?"

Before Dante could pretty much state the same thing, Randal cut in. "Can we order already, dude? You and..." he trailed off, squinting at the cashier's name tag, refusing to believe that what Dante called her was her name. He was right.

"Shit, this is Squall. I met her at that party Jay begged me to go to a few weeks ago."

"He did not, you just buckled like a belt this time around. So, met at a party, eh?" Randal grinned, forgetting how hungry he apparently was once the possibility of his friend getting laid popped into his head. "You two, uh, build the blanket monster--"

Dante threw up his hands in a small panic, in case Squall was offended by his friend's audacity. She did the same thing, though there was a bit more flailing on her end. "N-no!!!" They both shouted.

"H-he just drove me home after walking me to the bus stop but it had stopped running for the night... nothing else, I'm afraid.  _Ah shit_ , I'm on the clock. Sorry about that... uh. Can I take your order?" Squall said, voice shaking a bit as her face turned a bright shade of pink.

As Dante ordered, Randal watched as the girl bit her lip while he spoke. Something was up here. Or maybe it was just his supposed  _frightening libido_  hoping for shit to hear about.

" ** _Randal._** "

"Shit. Yeah can I get... uh..."

A few minutes later, they got their food. Right away. Mostly because there wasn't really anyone in front of them and no one behind them in line. The rush where parents were trying to get their kids fed before after school practice or lessons for god knows what was over.

Squall slid them their tray, her free hand adjusting the stupid funployee hat with horns. "It was really nice to see you again, Dante."

"Yeah, maybe I'll see you around again...  _Jaycelynn_."

Squall frowned, or at least tried to. There were still hints of a smile in both her voice and on her lips."Maybe... but don't call me  _that_  if we do. Have a great day!"

Dante blinked before a vague memory of her rambling on about names played in his head. "Right, right. Well, see ya."

Squall gave him a wave before going back to her job and looking dead. Dante carried his and Randal's food too a far off table near the bathrooms. Once they were sitting, Randal leant in close.

"Okay, give me the real story. Didja two bang or what? You're acting awful friendly for someone who just drove a chick home, dude. Plus, she has the hots for you."

"What?! No!!" Dante started, maybe a little too loudly and clearly exasperated.

"Probably ' _starts diddling herself as soon as she gets home thinking about you_ ' kinda hots for you."

"Oh my god!!! Randal, believe it or not, men and women can be just..."

"Aw, don't give me that 'friend' shit, people fuck their friends all the time. There's names for it."

"Well  _we'r_ e best friends and haven't fucked."

Randal snorted, taking a french fry and putting it in his mouth. "And whose fault is that? You didn't even think to ask."

Dante sputtered. Was he fucking serious?!

"I'm kidding, ya fuckin' mook. If I was gonna fuck a guy, it'd be someone hot, ya hideous fuckin' C.H.U.D."

"Well jeez, thanks." Dante scoffed, not sure if he was relieved or slightly offended.

"You're welcome. So fine, you two aren't fucking because friendship or whatever. You planning on fucking her?"

Dante sighed. "No. And I guess we aren't really friends.  ** _Stop_** ," he said, trying to cut Randal off before he could even start that again. "We just don't know each other well enough. This was just us running into each other a few weeks after we met. And to be honest... She's kind of weird."

Randal leant in. "Weird how?"

Dante took a quick glance over his shoulder before leaning in a bit more. "Well, I'm making small talk on the way to bus stop, being polite or whatever. I ask her where she's from and she starts this whole thing about how she's from Canada even if she lived in North Dakota before here and general life story shit. And I literally just met her."

"Dante, you're in love with a girl that fucked a dead guy and you think some Canuck oversharing shit about her past is weird? I don't understand your standards sometimes. So what's the real reason?"

"I am not still in love with Caitlin Bree, alright?" Dante sighed with a roll of his eyes. "I care about her and I'm the reason why she went catatonic--"

"No, she would've fucked that old dead dude even if she thought it was someone else. Hell, she probably would've done it if she wasn't expecting anyone. She was kind of a big whore, man. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"The important thing is, I don't really feel that way about her anymore. I think."

"You think."

"Yes... because that night, I realized that Veronica was the one. I took advantage of her shit and like you said; I was dating her because it was easy. But... she wanted me to better myself, yknow? She cared about me and I just... well, you know all that shit."

"So you love Veronica then? Even if she sucked thirty-seven dicks."

Dante snorted. "Yes, and I'd still accept her if she sucked another thirty-seven. It's the least I could do after the things I put her through."

Randal leant back in his chair, "did you tell her all that when you talked with her after that night?"

Dante shook his head. "No. She wants nothing to do with me, and rightfully so. The most contact I had with her since then is when she comes into the Quick Stop. We don't talk, she more or less throws her money at me and doesn't look at me the whole time."

"Damn, I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't be. I know you were trying to help, I wish you'd have told me before doing it but what's done is done. I think I might've needed that. I clearly wasn't listening to you about Veronica and Caitlin when I was dating her. Because I was comfortable, I didn't wanna do anything to break that. Or I didn't want to hear things that weren't enabling my bullshit."

Randal gave his friend a slow nod before taking more fries. As he chewed, he watched Dante eat his own food. Even if he was still in the same place as before, Dante seemed to have matured. It was weird to think about. People considered his friend to be the mature, responsible one between them. They wouldn't have been wrong, Dante could easily be both of those things. But he was like a child in other areas; whining and throwing fits when things didn't go his way, blaming everyone but himself when things went wrong. Randal could've smiled at the thought. He wanted to congratulate Dante, but how?

"Anyway, I'd rather... avoid relationships for a while. Even just one night stands. I'm still feeling raw, I guess."

"Jesus Dante, that was in April, but, then again, you're clearly not really the type to get over chicks easily."

Dante frowned, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it took you a while to get Caitlin out of your system after all."

Dante shrugged. "I guess you're right."


End file.
